He was looking at my younger sister and I. The boy at H&M who was holding all of his girlfriend’s shopping bags, was looking at us as we walked into the store, laughing and yes, looking as fine as we wanted to. But he wasn’t flirting. He was bored out of his mind and his face and posture told that story. Looking our way, as we laughed and quickly moved about the store, I suppose he saw the type of shopping experience he actually wanted to be having. His loud girlfriend stood beside him, sifting through the already messy pile of beach shorts, rudely beckoning the sales woman to come over and help her find a size 9, when she damn sure knows that sizes at H&M only come in even numbers. They walked through the store, him lagging a few steps behind, with his skinny arms dragging the bags and sighing behind her as she stopped at EVERY rack to look at, pick at, and pick up things that she would not be buying – that day or ever.
I have seen this too often and I find myself getting more annoyed with these women. Quality time spent with your man should be just that – quality time! It should be a time of quality memories, quality laughs, quality conversations and quality experiences. I know often times we feel like our men don’t want to spend time with us. But the reality is that they don’t want to be bored spending time with us. You have to understand your man’s personal likes and dislikes. Just because he doesn’t want to go with you to choose fabric samples for your new craft project, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you. And just because he’s actually willing to, doesn’t give you the okay to subject him to a day of craft store hopping.
If shopping isn’t his thing, then either go alone or take some girlfriends who want to run the mall with you. If he is willing to go, then make it a timed and goal-oriented event, where you allocate two or three hours for it. Know what you want to get and know the places you want to go to get it. If you know there are some things that he may need or want, stop by some of his stores to look around with him as well. Maybe purchase a few things for him. Then plan an outing for the rest of the day that you both can enjoy together. A little bit of you. A little bit of him. If you want him to meet your friends, do not make it an-all day affair. Again, it has to be timed and goal oriented. This way, when you feel him tug your lace-front, you’ll know that it’s time to go. Better yet…ask him to invite some of his guys so that it can be an even affair and he won’t be stuck as the fifth wheel amongst girl talk. If your girls are crazy and annoying, he can rest easy with his boys, without you feeling like he’s not paying any attention to you. You get to hang out with the girls, introduce friends and may even spark up a little love connection amongst them….I mean network.
Your man loves you, that’s why he’s breaking his arms to carry your 50 pairs of shoes and spending days in the hot sun on a blanket at the park playing frisbee and eating gourmet cheese and wine out of a wicker basket. But he also has separate interests that need to be tapped into and explored together. When was the last time you guys watched the game together? You don’t hear him crying when you can’t tell a lay-up from a jump shot. And just because you don’t know the first thing about soccer, doesn’t mean that you can’t curl up next to him and ask questions during the game. Your willingness and sincerity to be a part of his passion is a def plus. Just make sure you’re not whining. Watch to actually learn. Don’t make every outing or event something romantic. There is a time for the mushy and a need for the chill time. So put some flats on, tug up your skinnies and ask your best friend of a man, what’s the day looking like. Then get ready to explore his world.